Rock Your Network®: Never Burn a Bridge

Nick picked up a copy of my book when I spoke to his MBA class. He wrote me an email about the action he took after reading “Rock Your Network® for Job Seekers” and his terrific result – a new dream gig!

“Wendy,

I found your book very helpful when trying to find a job that would make me happy and allow me to do something I was “into.” I went to LinkedIn and read my friend M’s profile. In her description, she said she “loved” her job. From there, I was very proactive. Instead of Facebook messaging, LinkedIn, or email, I just picked up the phone and asked M to tell me exactly what she did for a living and how she and her parents started this fundraising company.

[Editor’s note: Woo hoo! See how Nick researched online, then reached out to make that personal connection by picking up the phone and reconnecting with his friend?]

Our phone conversation lasted about a half hour, and from there, she said she’d put me in contact with a local rep. All of a sudden she called me back and had set up a ride-a-long. The ride-a-long went terrific, and from there her parents (the owners) of the company called me and flew me to Minnesota to see the operation and meet me. After two days, I went home with an offer. Within the following week, I accepted the offer…! After I accepted, they flew me in to meet the entire sales group and staff for the end-of-the-season sales meeting (4 hours) and to introduce me to the company!

It was a crazy journey getting this job, but I CAN’T wait to start. I basically just used “networking” as the sole reason I got this job. I kept in touch with an old friend that I was really close with but didn’t see often. That ended up being enough and proved you should never burn a bridge. They also liked that I sought out M, NOT asking for a job, but asking to learn about what they do. From there I acted the part, whether it be dressing for the part when they picked me up from the airport to just being very proactive throughout this process. It’s crazy like you said in your book, how many jobs come from networking, compared to online postings. I guess I just want to say thanks because your book just gave me the confidence to not be afraid to pursue something that I believed in for a career!”

Success Stories

YEAH! You rock Nick! Nick wanted me to share his networking story with everyone – and he’ll be in the next edition of my book, Rock Your Network®. The bold items are my edits.

Here are the exact steps Nick took to land his new gig:

1. Reviewed his LinkedIn connections and read the profiles to identify people with interesting jobs he’d like to learn more about. (Research)

2. Picked up the phone! And reconnected personally. (Reach out)

3. Asked about his friend’s career to learn more about it. He did NOT ask for a job.

4. Shared common interests. This led to the additional connection with a local sales rep.

5. Took action – went on the ride-along and, as he said, “dressed the part.” He acted as if he already had the gig.

6. Never burned a bridge. Maintained relationships.

7. Was a go-getter. Nick took action and initiative, which got him results: a NEW JOB.

Call to action: Which of Nick’s steps can you take right now? Go for it – and share your story! I’d love to have your story in the next edition of my book, like Nick. Let’s roll!

Want more networking tips? Grab a copy of Rock Your Network®.

© Wendy Terwelp | All rights reserved.

Wendy Terwelp, author of Rock Your Network®, writes, speaks, and coaches on career management, networking, social media, and personal branding. Need a speaker for your association, company, or private coaching to rock your career? Let’s talk!

We Are the Stories We Sell Ourselves

By Wendy Terwelp, Author, Speaker, Executive Coach

“Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, and believe?” —Scott Turow, “Ordinary Heroes.”

In fact, we sell ourselves on these stories, even when they are not true, are outdated, unfounded, and easily rewritten. And these negative stories can be tremendously detrimental to our careers.

What do these stories sound like?

I’m too… busy, overqualified, under-qualified, old, young, shy, ashamed I lost my job…

I can’t because… it’s not the right time, I’m not ready, I won’t know anyone, my childhood was terrible, I have health issues, I can’t afford it, I’m a CEO and it’s uncomfortable for me to ask for help…

They… won’t let me, won’t reimburse me, said I couldn’t, said so, said it’s not in the budget, said I’m too…

Do any of these phrases resonate with you?

Take a closer look at what’s impeding your progress. How real are these stories you’re selling yourself? Are they still relevant? What is the real truth?

Break them down and kick these stories you’ve sold yourself to the curb.

Uncover the truth.

One executive told me she couldn’t get advanced training because “they won’t let me.”

“What’s the real truth?” I asked her. “They won’t let me” was not the truth because, as I’d coached others at her company who had earned advanced degrees.

“I don’t have the time and they won’t reimburse me,” she said.

“How bad do you want it?” I asked. This training would benefit my client’s ultimate career goal and add leverage toward a promotion.

She thought about things for a while and said, “You’re right. I really do want it. I guess I can make the time and I can write off the training on my taxes, so I’m really not out that much.”

Bottom line, my client made the choice to earn the new designation and, through our coaching work, won a promotion and salary bump with her current employer.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our stories, and how we believe in them, can hold us back or drive us forward.

An engineer was downsized after 20+ years. It was devastating and he was angry about the situation. Additionally, relatives told him he was too old and shouldn’t have too high of expectations in getting another management job at his age.

Through our coaching work, he decided it was best to move forward, leaving anger and resentment behind.

He was less concerned than his relatives were about his age, and the action step was to see those relatives less often, while in career search mode. His new attitude and proactive approach enabled him to dive in and learn new ways to search for a new gig. He got more comfortable with social media and made many connections on LinkedIn. He also picked up the phone and revived his network.

Result? He landed several interviews — and offers. He could choose which offer to accept. He chose a role that was not only a higher-level position and salary than before, but the new employer, a global company, offered him more opportunities for ongoing career growth.

Despite what happened to us in our past, we are still here.

We can rewrite our stories.

In “How to Rewire Your Brain for Success,” author Geoffrey James wrote, “Rather than video playback, human memory is more like video editing. When you remember something you are recreating, changing, and re-memorizing. The memory is subject to change every time you remember it.”

That means you can edit your bad memories and strengthen your good memories. You can rewrite your stories.

Two ways to start building your new stories: 1) Keep a career success journal or “Me File.” Start tracking your hits – both personal and professional. 2) Track what you are thankful and grateful for each day. Some days it might be as simple as, “I’m thankful I woke up on time today – High Five! No snooze button.” Other days it might be, “Wow! I am so grateful I got rave reviews after my Zoom presentation today!” Identify and document at least one hit/success and one grateful/thankful-for item each day. (More is better.)

Work on creating your new story, a story that reflects how you wish to be known now. You’ve got this!

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© 2014 – 2021 Wendy Terwelp | All rights reserved. | Wendy Terwelp is the founder of Opportunity Knocks and author of Rock Your Network®. She was named one of Quintessential Careers’ Top 15 Career Masterminds and her Infoline, “Jumpstart Your Job Search and Get Hired Faster” was included in the Association for Talent Development’s “Best on Career Development” anthology. Wendy was also named in Inc. magazine’s “Top 10 Career Helps.” Are you ready for your next big gig? Want to up-level your career? Reach out to Wendy at www.knocks.com/coaching today!

A version of this article first appeared in Quintessential Career’s 2014 Job Action Day.

6 Tips to Create a Networking Plan that Works

Would you like to get more results when you network? Here’s how to create a networking plan that works:

1. Schedule a regular time each week to network. Without a plan, we all get busy, and suddenly, when we need it most, our network is outdated or scattered. By scheduling regular time in your calendar to network, it not only gets done, but you’ll feel more confident and comfortable in networking situations, avoid binge-watching your fave show, and meet people who want to help you propel your career. People want to help you and see you succeed.

Think about how you feel when you help others, whether it’s recommending a favorite restaurant or referring someone to your preferred service provider, like a financial advisor, lawyer, career coach, or other service.

2. Schedule 10 minutes each day to use social media. I say 10 minutes or you’ll end up down the internet rabbit hole. Determine what actions you’ll take online. Here are a few to try: status updates, relevant links that demonstrate your thought leadership, and quick emails to those who’ve updated their statuses with wins. For example, if you read your LinkedIn notifications and a friend has landed a new position or received an award, send her a brief congratulatory note.

3. Determine which offline, in-person groups you will join and how often they meet. Take an active role in the organization, such serving as the chapter ambassador. This helps you meet more people and overcome some of the jitters of being in a new group. Click here for ideas on which groups to join.

4. Set networking goals for yourself. For example, when attending a new group, set a goal to meet three new people. Three people who need to know about you based on your career or business goals. Write this goal in your calendar where you’ve scheduled the meeting.

5. Prepare and rehearse your sound bite. Networking can take place any time, any where. Be prepared.

6. Update your network regularly with the action steps you’ve taken. If a friend referred you to a contact and you set up an informational interview, let your friend know that you made the connection and got results.

You’ve got to fuel your network to fire it up! Scheduling networking activities makes your network thrive. And regular contact with those in your network will help you achieve your career goals much faster.

Want more networking tips? Check out Rock Your Network®, the book.

Copyright 1998-2019 Wendy Terwelp | All rights reserved.

Wendy Terwelp, author of Rock Your Network®, writes, speaks, and coaches on career management, networking, social media, and personal branding. Need a speaker for your association, company or private coaching to rock your career? Let’s talk!

How to Use Social Media to Boost Your Personal Brand

Personal branding on social media can feel overwhelming for some professionals and consultants. Maybe you’ve struggled with it, too.

You want to be warm and approachable, but you don’t want to overshare. You want to be professional and polished, but you don’t want to be thought of as the boring guest at the cocktail party.

Decide How You Want to be Known

The first thing to do when using social media to uplevel your personal brand is to decide how you want to be known.

Pick a subject you’d like to focus on so you become THE Expert on that subject. This should be a topic you’re excited about because you’ll be sharing and writing about it for some time to become known as a Subject Matter Expert.

Choose Your Networks

While some gurus advise you should be on all the social media platforms, most professionals and consultants find their clients and cohorts stick to one or two social networks, depending on their industry or profession.

Don’t stress about this. Simply pick the two social networks where you get the most traction. These two social networks are ones you’ll update daily.

Keep Your Social Media Profiles Consistent

Review your profiles on all your social media channels. Would someone unfamiliar with you or your brand be able to tell you’re the same person on each social media channel?

If not, it’s time to align your social media accounts. Use the same profile picture, bio, and header image across all your social platforms. This makes it easy for visitors to recognize your brand, regardless of the social network they’re using.

Post Frequently

Maintain an active profile on your industry’s and your target audience’s most popular social networks. (A target audience consists of people who need to know about you.)

Some networks are better for posting multiple times a day (like X/Twitter), while for others, posting only 2-3 times a day (or a week) works better. This is another reason to choose only one to three platforms; activity helps you gain traction with your target audience. You also want to be able to effectively manage the social media channels you choose.

A dormant account can negatively impact your online brand.

To determine the best posting frequency, run a few short experiments. This will help you discover how frequently you should post and what times work best for your followers.

If you’re unsure what to post, follow the 4 out of 5 rule. This rule means posting 4 pieces of valuable content to your audience for every 1 piece of promotional content. Don’t be afraid to promote great content to your followers, even if you didn’t write it. When you’re the one who shares the latest news in your industry, followers will view you as the go-to source of trends and news in your industry. Curating great content counts.

Join Communities

Once you gain some traction with your personal brand on social media, look for communities of like-minded professionals or your ideal client tribe. Facebook and LinkedIn have groups. While some channels may use different terms for these communities, they all mean the same thing: an online gathering of people around one central subject, whether that subject is learning and development, social media, HR, healthcare, etc.

The great thing about groups is that they allow you to form connections with other members and give them value.

It’s also an easy way to do customer research and create your own professional learning network. You can discover what questions your audience frequently asks, what they struggle with, and what they would love to know more about.

Using social media to brand and enhance your online reputation is brilliant. Just remember to post and share valuable content that benefits your target audience.

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Wendy Terwelp is an award-winning career expert and personal branding strategist who works with high-performing leaders and organizations wanting to advance careers, rock networks, and up-level their brands online and offline. Click the link to get your free personal brand self-assessment.

© Wendy Terwelp / www.knocks.com / All rights reserved. / Updated 2024.

We are an affiliate partner of Postoplan.

Owning Your Personal Brand Starts with YOU

When it comes to designing your personal brand, it’s essential to understand yourself. If you don’t, you can’t possibly represent your best self to your ideal clients and others who need to know about you, like colleagues, cohorts, and coworkers. You need to know how you’re wired and be able to communicate this effectively. From there, people will choose whether to work with you or not based on what you’ve shared about yourself.

Understand how others see you.

Do you know how others see you and how you come across at work? If not, take a survey. Ask friends, family, colleagues, coworkers, managers, and others whom you trust what they think your top five skills are and the top three words that come to mind when they think of you.  

By knowing who you are, what you want, and what makes you unique, you will be able to clearly communicate your goals and unique value to people in your network, whether they’re internal people from other departments, potential clients, or potential employers.

Consider your top priorities.

Your top priorities can help you design your personal brand and attract your ideal client or other professionals who need to know about you to help you advance your career. One healthcare executive I coached regularly posts photos of her marathons, family, and speaking engagements. This shows she has a solid work/life balance with a focus on health, and can easily wow an audience. Ideal positioning to attract leadership opportunities in healthcare, her target audience. She landed a senior leadership role with a major healthcare organization and was also elected to chair a board with her professional association.

By sharing her interests and values online and off, she’s attracted people and organizations with similar values, which helped advance her career. (That and a stellar work history with bottom-line results.)

Choose your career goals.

Choosing your career focus is an important part of your personal brand. When you love what you do, that enthusiasm is going to shine through to your potential clients and other professionals in alignment with your brand – and your career – and attract them to you. As a result, people will be eager to work with you.

Before you decide on your career focus, it can be helpful to consider other jobs you’ve worked. What did you enjoy doing—presentations, leading others, teaching, etc.? What did you hate doing—researching, administrative tasks, etc.? When you know what you enjoy, you can fill your business and career with more of those tasks. As for the tasks you hate, consider delegating or outsourcing them to someone who enjoys them.

Own your experience.

There are many ways you can show your expertise. Maybe you’ve been quoted in a popular trade magazine, news media, or well-known website. Maybe you’ve been thanked for your insight or your help with a difficult project. Ask for recommendations about your work on LinkedIn or, with permission, display your recommendations and testimonials on your website or blog.

Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through your work. Enhancing and owning your personal brand can help you create a career you’ll love for years to come.

For more help up-leveling your personal brand to attract right-fit opportunities to you, book a complimentary Clarity Call with me and we’ll discuss your career, goals, and next steps. If your organization wants to up-level career mobility with your personnel and attract top talent, check out my online and in-person programs.

© Wendy Terwelp / www.knocks.com / All rights reserved.

Wendy Terwelp is an award-winning career expert and personal branding strategist who works with high-performing leaders and organizations who want to advance careers, rock networks, and up-level their brands online and off. Follow her @wendyterwelp.